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MARRIAGE
Married Christians, in virtue of the Sacrament of Matrimony, signify and share in the mystery of that unity and fruitful love which exists between Christ and his Church; they help each other in attaining holiness in their m arried life and in the rearing and education of their children; and they have their own special gift among the people of God.
Priests and deacons should first of all strengthe n and nourish the faith of those about to be married, for the sacrament of matrimony presupposes and demands faith. (RM, 1-7).
I. Marriage Preparation The goal of the initial contact is to com municate an attitude of openness toward couples seeking to marry, whatever their religious background or level of faith and to direct the couple to an initial face-to-face interview with the proper pastor or his representative. (USC, 58-59) Couples are to be treated with respect, openness and warmth, regardless of their faith developm ent, registration status in the parish or financial contributions.
A. Marriages are to take place in the parish of either party or in another Catholic church with permission of the proper pastor. Interfaith marriages are ordinarily to take place in a Roman Catholic Church.
B. It is necessary for couples to cont act their parish as soon as the form al engagement is made or at least 6 m onths prior to the wedding. Individual parishes may require more time if necessary. Extra tim e must be allowed if either party had been previously m arried or other special circum stances are present. In the Diocese of Corpus Christi, a period of six months of marriage preparation is required for the wedding. (MP, 1)
C. It is the pastor' s responsibility to see to it that his parishioners are adequately prepared for marriage.
Couples who are preparing for marriage in a place other than that in which they will be married should stay in frequent contact with the priest or deacon who will be witnessing their m arriage. Th e cleric should also obtain a written statement from those who are prepari ng the couple that the requirem ents for marriage preparation in this diocese have been fulfilled. (CIC, 1063.2, 1070, 1114)
D. The records of the m arriage are ordinarily kept in the Catholic parish in which the marriage took place. If a dispensati on from canonical form is granted, the
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record is kept in the church of the pr eparing priest or deacon who asked for the dispensation. (CIC, 1121)
E. Discernment: The primary task of the church, the clergy and others in marriage preparation is to assist the couple in making a judgment about their relational readiness and personal faith, not to m ake those judgments for or about them . (USC, 63)
1. The initial interview is done by the priest or deacon or trained delegate and not by the parish secretary or over the phone. (USC, 59) The purpose is to establish a rapport, explain the process and determ ine freedom to marry.
2. One of the primary goals of marriage preparation is to identify and deepen the couple's faith. Couples may be refused only when they explicitly and formally reject what the Church inte nds to do in the m arriage of baptized persons. (Familiaris Consortio; USC, 61).
3. Pre-nuptial investigation: Ordinarily the pre-nuptial investigation and arrangements for a marriage preparation program are the responsibility of the pastor of the parish in which the marriage takes place, or his delegate.
If someone else com pletes the pre-nuptial investigation and m arriage preparations arrangements, this material is to be forwarded to the pastor of the place of the marriage.
In any case, the com plete pre-nuptial investigation file remains in the parish where the marriage took place. (MG, 6)
4. Areas of special concern that s hould be addressed with every couple are signs of severe fam ily dysfunction and chemical dependency or alcohol abuse, all of which can inhibit one' s freedom to marry. A referral to counseling may be necessary in these cases. Moreover, any engaged couple who is sexually active ought to be encouraged to live chastely before their marriage.
5. A decision to delay is m ade by the priest or deacon, the couple and, on occasion, the parents after consultation with an outside party: e.g. a member of the parish staff, a professional counselor, the director of the Family Life Office or the Chancellor. Since the right to marry is from the natural law, the couple may appeal any decision for delay. (MG, 8)
This appeal is made to Chancellor and/or the bishop. (cf. L-13)
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F. Instructional Program: is to present the essential human and Christian aspects of marriage so that the couple becom es aware of the total dim ensions of the marriage covenant and is introduced to persons and resources available so that they might turn to the Church in times of personal need.
1. This should include:
a. context of marriage today b. communication and conflict resolution c. meaning of permanence and forgiveness d. requirements of a valid marriage e. role of faith, prayer and Church f. roles, expectations and responsibilities g. self-awareness, personal healing, individual growth in marriage h. sex and sexuality i. value of children, parenthood j. an introductory session (or se ries of classes) on Natural Fam ily Planning
2. Strong resistance to any form of program is a strong negative indicator of readiness for marriage.
3. Instructional programs available:
a. Sponsor couple (training is available in English and Spanish) b. Engaged Encounter Weekend c. Pre-Cana Programs d. A course in natural family planning e. Programs for convalidation f. Facilitating Open Couple Communication, Understanding and Study (FOCCUS) i. This program is useful fo r surfacing issues that the couple may want or need to discuss further. This program can be used by the pastor as part of his assessment process in determ ining the couple’s readiness to marry in the Church, or it can be used as a beginning of a series of m arriage preparation programs which the couple in dialogue with the pastor/administrator selects. (MG, 6-7) 4. Married couples should be used as a part of the m arriage preparation process in each parish. (USC, 58)
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5. The priest or deacon should meet with the couple to see that the catechesis for the sacrament has been com pleted and to discuss the results of their instructional program. All documentary requirements should be completed by this time.
6. Catholics who have not yet receive d the sacrament of confirmation are to receive it before they are adm itted to marriage if it can be done without grave inconvenience. (CIC, 1065.1) The priest/deacon should, at this time, discuss the liturgical preparations for the m arriage. To receive the sacrament of m arriage fruitfully, Catholics are urged to approach the sacraments of Penance and Eucharist prior to the wedding. (CIC, 1065.2)
7. The rehearsal is conducted by the priest/deacon or his representative and offers the opportunity for group prayer by the wedding party and a tim e to celebrate the Sacrament of Penance.